10 Steps to a Less Stressful Holiday

Bells ring, glow plugs, each holiday cheer flooded. But you do not want a little Santa's elves . In fact, you start to feel like the Grinch . Your life has become an endless cycle of obligations: to send cards , gifts to buy , entertaining, decorating. . . . But do not despair . Here are some tips to help you simplify here , so you can return to the spiritual heart of the holidays.Ask first . Upon receipt of your family
Everyone in the family has hopes and dreams for the holidays, but you can not read minds . Carole Bodger , author of Smart Guide to Relieve Stress ( John Wiley & Sons , 1999) , shows that you call a family meeting. " When the whole family gets together , ask each person to take a moment to list his three favorite holiday activities - reading stories by the fireside on a candlelight worship , decorate cookies, help a non - shelter - what they think would be perfect for a special time to do. then ask three things they could do without. This will help you a holiday that is guaranteed to at least one of all the favorites to create with ideas for streamlining the celebration.
"Planning the session before the pressure begins to build ," advises Bodger . " In this way, you will not know that your daughter really wants to sing in church Nativity play, after it is too late , they connect. "Second Place holiday home this year.
They have a newborn. Or a period of work . At present , the last thing to deal with pressure Reiseplänefür is the busiest time of the year. " Explain to your parents: " Mom, Dad , I 'd like to visit , but it would be just too much for me - the kids are too little to travel, and I only have a few days off , "said Dorothy Cantor, Psy D . . , former head of the American Psychological Association. " Be honest . Their relationship must be able to withstand disappointment. " Then the children call together a family video and audio cassettes, and get to the station early to send. Call your parents on the first night of Hanukkah or Christmas morning and make plans to visit new year.3rd Limit optional activities .
There are things you need to do necessarily , like a vacation or visit Whereas preschool class party of your daughter. In which adult-oriented parts - office appointments, carol, sing along New Year open house - and you have just a minute to breathe. To sculpt the bottom of the list, the specified limits. Decide in advance how to get a large number of parties or other events that you can handle , and give the green light for the first four invitations. Then, politely but firmly refuse the rest . " If you decide objection , do it with elegance ," says Peggy experts label Message parents. " Even if you do not want to go , try to seem grateful that you have invited . "4 Resist the urge to be Martha Stewart.
The transformation seems to happen overnight . When every house on the block has huge burst of crowns above the door, tapered candles in the windows and display choirboys light-up on the lawn . Make your preholiday neighbors tapped into a network of poor elves looking for a job? " These days , it seems that we not only Martha Stewart, " says Bodger . "We have Bob Vila. , We need to bake cookies and nail throughout the house a little doll holiday . "
If you believe that holiday decor is a must, an effect easily . Buy a fake tree ( the current culture is surprisingly realistic ) reuse with lights prestrung for a year . Select crowns made ​​from pine cones for a period of longer life. And if you decided to bring home a tree six feet , put with a simple red ribbon and add small white lights and red Christmas balls . Voila - a design statement worthy of Martha herself, with half the noise.
Above all, do not torment yourself . My house would never pass the bridge - tests - inside. Our 5 - years is responsible for the tree, and when he did hang ornaments, they are crammed every two meters above the ground and heat . But who cares? His pride to do something for the family is palpable.Get 5 cards Christmas difficult .
"Nobody has to be sent on the cards if they do not want ," advises Post. "This is a personal decision. " Check your greeting card pulse. If you like cards, there are ways to make it easier to manage.
Start by making sure that Christmas cards mean to you. Are your way to stay in touch, if you were not in contact? Then you can not send people to cut you see all the time. Or you can reverse the process and send cards that family and close friends. Do not get caught in the opposite case . "In my family , we do not have a card from anyone we send a " Bodger points out, "and he certainly does not hate us for life. "
The key to your life is easier to cross the guilt of your list. If you need to send hundreds of cards, those who pre- printed . Automate next . Rent your own children or a neighborhood teenager to help . Do they have to solve envelopes and sticking on stamps. Elapsed time : overnight.6 Focus on the spiritual.

What parents need to focus on, given that they can't do it all, is activities that create meaning and memories. So read a book that discusses the religious aspects of the holidays. Attend a religious service designed for children. Buy an extra present for a children's charity and bring the kids with you when you drop it off. Trim the tree or light the menorah and then toast the season with hot cider. And don't forget to share your own precious holiday memories with your kids. Relive that first ride downhill on your brand-new Flexible Flyer. You remember, don't you? The flash of terror, then sheer exhilaration. That hill always looked so much less imposing once you'd made it down. On January 2, you'll look back and feel the same way about the holidays.

7. Winnow the Wish list.

It's not the great American novel. It's little Joshua's letter to Santa, and he's been scribbling since June. Is he getting everything he wants? No way. Generosity may be one of the hallmarks of the season, but that doesn't mean giving free rein to materialism. Sit down with your better half and decide in advance how many presents are appropriate. If Josh is over 5, ask him to prioritize. If he still believes in Santa, explain that room on the sleigh is limited. "Kids are going to ask for everything they see on television or at their friends' houses," Cantor says. "So there has to be a reasonable limit." Meaning that if Joshua's first choice is that $2,000 motorized miniature Jaguar convertible that Cody's dad bought for him, move on to door number two. You may also want to take a stand on violent or sexist toys. Don't let the holiday spirit weaken your resolve. Be true to your principles -- and your budget.

8. Don't shop till you drop.

Start early. And invite a friend along. You'll have more fun, and you can stop for a snack and a chat. "Give yourself frequent breaks while shopping," suggests Jeff Davidson, author of The Joy of Simple Living (Rodale, 1999). "It's not a marathon. Stop and enjoy the seasonal decor. There is absolutely no reason to make shopping for loved ones anything but a joyful experience." Make things easy for yourself. If the gift wrapping is free and the lines aren't too long, take advantage of the service. (In my house, Santa can be pretty bleary-eyed and grumpy on Christmas morning after staying up all night wrapping presents.) If you love that silk scarf, buy it in multiples. My aunt Sarah and my mom both adore the ones I gave them last Christmas. Luckily, they live at opposite ends of the country.

9. Hire some of Santa's helpers.

"Ask your local supermarket about holiday platters, catering for dinner parties, and home deliveries," Davidson says. And don't be shy. "When guests ask what they can bring," he advises, "tell them." Pay a helpful teen to assist you in the kitchen, and consider hiring a cleaning service so you're not left scrubbing the bathroom tiles the night before. That way, you can truly relax. It happens only once a year, and the extra expense will be well worth it. The bottom line here? Do whatever you can to make your life easier.

10. Give yourself a time-out.

Right now, before you have a nervous breakdown. Stop roasting those chestnuts. Stop burning that midnight menorah oil. And don't even think about answering the phone. "Give a gift to yourself -- and not just the kind that you wrap with a bow," Bodger says. "Take an invigorating walk or spring for a sitter and take an afternoon off. You'll appreciate it, and so will your kids. There's a good reason why flight attendants advise us to place the oxygen mask on ourselves first, before we help others. If we're not okay, there's no way we can take care of anyone else."